What is normal and how can you tell?
When you are a new parent, one of the hardest things is knowing what is normal and what isn’t. You can’t possibly know everything, so you need to rely on your team, the providers around you, to teach you what is normal and what isn’t.
But what happens when the providers ignore your worries? When they tell you everything is fine despite symptoms and your gut knowledge that it isn’t? What happens when the entire medical system CHANGES the norms?
That’s what happened earlier this year. The CDC looked at data from the last few years and saw that they were failing babies and families everywhere. Babies weren’t meeting crawling, walking, talking milestones. These are essential developmental times that we can get a glimpse into how baby’s nervous system is growing and maturing. So when the CDC discovered that 50% of babies weren’t meeting milestones (and let’s be honest, it’s about money. If a baby isn’t meeting a milestone, they get referred to therapy. Therapy costs the states money) they just MOVED THE MILESTONES! They completely got rid of crawling, moved talking and walking out later. Now magically instead of the country FAILING 50% of babies, 75% of babies are meeting milestones!! Yay, all good right?
Unfortunately deciding that crawling isn’t important (it’s is VERY important) or that it’s normal to not sit unsupported until 9 months, doesn’t help these babies. Now instead of early intervention and therapy, these kids are going to have to wait. It’s not just state medical insurance that won’t cover therapy, private insurances will also now deny therapy because the baby “hasn’t missed a milestone yet”
Each developmental milestone impacts more than just one thing. For example if a baby isn’t sitting unsupported at 6 months, they shouldn’t start solid foods yet. That would mean delaying foods for a few weeks-months until baby can sit up properly to be able to eat without choking risk. Delaying starting the solids might also impact mom’s milk supply, baby’s weight gain, night sleeping, willingness to try foods, oral play and more. We are not just 1 part, everything in our bodies is interconnected and needs to work in harmony.
Recently I recorded a podcast episode with Dr Martin Rosen, DC. He is a Pediatric Chiropractor and expert in normal development in babies and children. During the beginning of Covid, he and his wife Dr Nancy Rosen, DC wrote a book, It’s all in the head” and in this book they discuss normal milestones, and how to know when something isn’t right. It’s unfortunate that parents can’t just rely on their providers to educate them about what’s normal and what’s not, but at this time parents need to start educating themselves.
No matter what any milestone list says, YOU are the expert on YOUR BABY. You spend more time with them than anyone else. You know each sound, look and movement. You know in your gut when something is not right. If you get dismissed by a provider, told that “you baby is fine” when you know something is wrong, don’t listen to them. Keep learning and fighting, and search for providers that will listen and help.
I don’t know everything about babies, I don’t think anyone really can know everything. After all, even if you did (which is a stretch) it wouldn’t be accurate within a short time. There is always new research, changes in medicine, learning to look through a new lens.
If you are being ignored, please don’t let it stop you. There are providers out there who listen and care, who understand what they know, and know what they don’t. If you need help finding that team of providers, reach out anytime. I’m always happy to help create a team.